BORROW

Music can be a trigger, an anchor, as it can be a pearl, a direct association with a moment, or a moment in itself, the awareness of the dimension of the moment or the feeling in itself.

Particularly important because it can correspond to a long period of a human being's life, a revolution, a sign, a brand, a memory, and a life lesson of what we had to learn in pain, and what glues, because the only feeling can stick and make an identity, a mask, a character of ourselves remain.

A photo that brings memories and that appeals to me the time I waited, is certainly worth a thousand words, but it makes me realize that there are masks that we may not want to use them anymore and that the transformation prevails over meanings and fears that no longer exist and who were overcome by better points of view, and with lessons learned we launched ourselves into the world again, looking for eternal life.

"You're never with me You're never near me What time is it? What time? Whose time is this? Give yourself a chance to breathe I'll give you the room you need

You're never here You're never near here What day is this? What day? Whose day is this? Put me in your supermarket list I'm here, I'm real, it's true, I do exist

Today you may feel a little sleepy Maybe the morning is too soon I guess I'll have to borrow One of your sunny afternoons But afternoons they never come There's nothing left for me to borrow

I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow

You're wasting me You're breaking, you're wasting me Can this be love? Is this? Whose love is this? What is wrong with you? I don't know No place in you for me And me, I need you so

And if you want to be by yourself No one disturbing, that's alright I guess I'll have to borrow A little of yourself tonight But tonight it never comes There's nothing left for me to borrow

I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow

It may seem a little hollow But I'll try again tomorrow

There's nothing left for me to borrow I guess I'll try again tomorrow"

“Borrow” is a song by David Fonseca and Silence Four, which when I was around 30 made me feel the world that way, while I waited, that my character, that my experience, prevailed over all other dimensions of my being and accepted it as if it were my essence, ignoring everything else that existed inside me and what was outside resonated with me.

It was my essence of that moment that is no more, there are songs of the past that don't say anything, anymore. At a certain moment and that later define us and others that struggle with our deepest entrails, from which we had to free ourselves, because they corresponded to a mentality that comes to us from ancestry, which crosses us and which we cannot deny, due to its precise meaning.

“Borrow” is one of those songs, just like “Voar” by Xutos e Pontapés, although more grouchy and commiserative, it still reflects the loss of identity in exchange for the projection on the other that leads to the non-recognition of the self, the essence, the true.

It is a song that only looks outwards, that completely forgets the comfort of the "I", the insistence in looking for what is closed, in forcing what does not exist, in living a dream the strength that becomes a nightmare, because it reveals beggars to us on the other, and the absolute inability to have their own project, to walk in solitude but accompanied by the essence. There is no trip there, there is nothing but waiting.

The inability to accept no and the inability to say no, because there is an attempt the next day, a tomorrow that looks back, the certainty that there will also be nothing tomorrow because it is the same as yesterday and today, and at that moment in which the certainty that nothing exists, as if by madness there is an insistence in the name of a love that is no longer faith, but only the certainty that the other, or the other, the beloved woman despises us, because there is nothing else, respect, self-love has been lost and yet it is insisted as if through sheer stubbornness and insistence the realization of love was possible.

Even more serious than being completely out of the personal center, which is the emotional home that is inhabited at that moment, are the feelings, emotions associated with feelings that place, attachment, dependence, inability to find your center, and the inability to let go from this weight, there is no personal freedom, no affirmation in that relationship, in that feeling of attachment and dependence that arises from the hand of those who say not constantly, but who do not abandon, who continue to feed.

It is the certainty of complete toxicity in which nothing exists, where the manipulation of the other makes the one who sings the song "Borrow" is totally enslaved and dependent and embodies dependence and despair.

The song is not about love, it is about dependence and limitation, as “Voar” dos Xutos is about oppression and inability to overcome, they are anchors or moments that should be seen as lessons, as milestones and not lived and glued as a personal state.

The one that was my home is no longer, and so a song that identified me and with which I identified became a cemetery in me, after learning to say: No!

There can be no next day, you cannot borrow or borrow to be more rigorous because self-love and respect are greater and this is imperative, life is not just to exist without anything else, life is not a day yes and no, life is to plant and reap.

Knowing how to cut, knowing how to stop, knowing how to say no, is having self-love is not allowing others to use our availability and our love, it is knowing how to never allow abuse, violence, because being narcissistic, maintaining a relationship based on dependence on the other it is unacceptable, but it starts with those who are abused, with those who know they have to cut.

It is not easy to identify behaviors, accept what is happening, understand gaslighting, and finally feel the shackles of the prison of addiction, because that feeling sucks and has nothing to do with love, making the other emotionally dependent is something that begins in the family, is something that is learned and assimilated through violent episodes, pearls of our life that are recorded by these moments and that define our character and destiny.

But it is always possible to change, change the path, the focus, changing habits, and thus changing the reality that surrounds and surrounds us, because there is something tomorrow, there is me, and I am much more important than dependencies, because within me, I will find the contentment and the satisfaction of being bigger than myself, and I wil feel capable of loving myself fully and believing intirely in me, because I will not deceive me anymore, nor wait any longer for what was taken and not returned and never borrowed, simply because I do not want this Person anymore in my life!