FROM CO DEPENDENT TO NARC

Codependency is a condition resulting from the creation of traumas in childhood and during adolescence, it develops mainly due to abusive behavior on the part of parents who are convinced that overprotecting the child by surrounding him or her in a dome they can somehow protect him from the dangers that the life ends, thus resulting from a concern of a legitimate fear of the parents that ends up being exercised against the interests of the minors themselves.

No parent intends to create a relationship of codependency with their children or to generate in them behaviors or profiles of codependency, in fact, codependency often develops due to the lack of time to create barriers and limits for children who end up for developing this type of profile due to the inability to love themselves, due to the emotional wounds caused by the absence of the parents or by the permanent presence that it also generates, traumas of control and dependence.

In fact, it all starts when there is overprotection or negligence in the relationship with children, during adolescence or even in the most serious cases from childhood onwards, it is common in an increasingly liquid and fragmented society that either the mother or the father are permanently busy with work and with the need to provide economically for the family and all this generates immense pressure on the family, which leads the children to stay at home and end up finding ways to entertain themselves and develop their personality.

The emotional wounds of abandonment, humiliation, betrayal often appear at the earliest ages of the child's emotional development, it is in this period that any situation of absolute absence of the father or mother, of reprimand I did not understand, hence not accepted or even of exposure of their secrets or intimacy end up creating wounds that are nothing more than primary memories that form the first links in the GESTALT chain and that generate the initial emotional wounds from which we find the beginning of a chain of emotions that will necessarily form parts of the character of the individual.

It is precisely here that the genesis of personality is found, with the dependent who starts from a personality disorder to become a trait or even the dominant personality of the individual, moving away from his nerve center from his initial and personal focus, putting at the service of the other, generally the father or mother or a relative of reference, which thus replace the natural choices and natural focuses that the individual should develop, namely in relation to their tastes, preferences and necessarily life mission that results from their self based on individual creativity, which it is the core of your personality and where you can found your own Happiness and security.

Here we essentially explore the path that is made from a personality with the dependent, this personality can evolve to the register of empathy or directly to a register of narcissistic disorder, many times however the path goes through a stage between adaptation medium, the meta model of vampires can be considered here as a source of inspiration for the explanation of what this process is, if we think that the vampire, before using and objectifying the human being, as a source of supply for his needs, adopts the exact same social behavior as the vampire. that the narcissist adopts towards his codependent victims, often the codependents who develop the ability to be empaths suffer the need to become narcissists themselves in order to defend what turns out to be their own emotional survival, thus altering their standards to that of narcissists.

Basically, we can say that in the face of an initial situation of codependency in which the individual has completely moved away from his center of what his interests and desires were, he begins to develop alienation behaviors NOS which manipulates other individuals to like himself as a form of to be able to find filling the immense void that he has within himself, unlike the narcissist who immediately uses everyone else around him to fill that same void and who behaves aggressively, the empath begins by being passive aggressive and in this process he also develops a process of manipulation similar to that of the narcissist.

Both the empath and the narcissist need the other, as both develop from the initial co-dependency they inherited from their parents, which formed them throughout their childhood and adolescence, often imposed by their own families but which, in the face of emancipation, leads to make a choice between continuing through the process of helping to establish toxic relationships creating empathic protective relationships or, on the contrary, toxic relationships guided by the exploitation of the other as the narcissist does who uses the human being as a construction for his own goals, transforming people into objects and the objects into justification of their power.

In fact, while the empath considers himself superior for having friends and dependents and for being effectively a point of support for his circle, he secretly begins to develop symptoms of a covert narcissist because this way of relating and also finding his supply for the relationship dependence, turns out to be similar to the process of the aggressive narcissist who directly uses manipulation and emotional play to control all those around him and fulfill his sense of greatness.

I would say that every dependent body, in a more direct or indirect way, either manages to heal its emotional and wounds by moving away from toxic models or ends up necessarily becoming narcissistic, hence the metaphor of the vampire where it is a girl who begins by being the source The vampire's supply becomes so fragile that the vampire to maintain that same source of supply transmits his blood to him which turns him into a vampire in the end as both vampires naturally go to look for other Sources of supply creating a chain of Transmission of vampirism .

This idea here there is a transitional stage between co-dependency and narcissism through empathy, it also has to come with the growth of the hurt child and with traumas for the problem adult in fact the one who has gone through emotional trauma and developed co-dependency with the child. his family or with one of the parents in particular manages to somehow overcome his personal difficulties and integrate what happened to him or, on the contrary, he is totally marked incapable of separating himself from what formed him and in a faster or slower way he will end up forming him his personality from a register of grandiosity or inverted grandiosity that will necessarily lead him is a double personality where he hides his true intentions and the emptiness that fills his soul.

Strictly speaking, we are dealing with wounds of the spirit that are healed through self-understanding and the emotional maturity that may arise from the work to be done through emotional intelligence and its correct development or, on the contrary, IN cases where the episodes are too violent or too The evolution that leads to the experience and maturity of a state of overprotection to a permanent deformation of character, based on a sense of grandiosity that truly hides a profound lack of self-esteem and of an objective sense in relation to its function, is remarkable.

There is thus a lack of notion in the individual of his personal mission and his vision of life and the world prevent him from building himself, and the individual struggles with the foreign body introduced by society instead of harmonizing, this prevents -to carry out what should be her real task here on this plane, as she cannot fulfill it due to having died for her and having forgotten her, not being able to rescue the one who had been her inner child, murdered through her emotional wounds.